


Amid the Noise and Haste

by starcrossreylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Counting Down, Domme!Rose, F/M, Gingerrose - Freeform, I'm awful at tagging, PTSD, Porn With Plot, TRIGGER WARNING: past sexual assault, The fic has earned it's rating, Therapy talk, blindfold, but emotional angst, filthy sex, literally no one else so far lol, please read the tags, struggle with my own mental health issues through fic?, sub!Armie, trust and communication are key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21964741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starcrossreylo/pseuds/starcrossreylo
Summary: "You earned it. Now swallow it."Upon meeting through a PTSD support group, Ben and Rey enter a relationship where trust is the most important thing...that, and the lube.BDSM Reylo fic focusing on the realities of a dom/sub relationship, and mental health.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 88
Kudos: 195





	1. Love I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my hoes](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+hoes).



> Please read the tags.

* * *

**Present Day**

* * *

The air she inhaled was sweet as Rey gasped around her gag. It was a small relief from the burning of her calves, which were stretched to support her weight, the spreader bar making it more difficult to find a comfortable position. Her arms screamed along with her quaking legs. She was stretched thin, but the pain felt was molten, enveloping her entire body as her Master kept talking. She knew they were nearing the end of their demonstration, and she ached. The lightheadedness was making her dizzy. 

“You see,” the deep voice said, nearing Rey. “This Offering Position allows for maximum access to sensitive areas. The gag and blindfold concentrate the submissive’s senses to narrow to hearing and touch. I prefer it as a disciplinary position. However, this position can cause harm, if not done correctly, or held for a long time.” 

Rey strained to hear where her Master was going next but felt the vibrations of his footsteps on the stage. Was he coming closer to her? She stiffened, forcing her muscles into the perfect posture, presenting herself to him. The cold air brushed against her, letting her know that her Master had just walked past her. 

She wasn’t expecting to let out a moan when the ropes that held her arms above her head slackened, sending jolts up through her body. Rey sagged with relief, muscles trembling as her Master collected her in his arms. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Ben murmured just to her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You did so well. The audience was so impressed by you.” 

With a shaky breath, for the first time in an hour, she tasted the air of the BDSM dungeon that they were presenting in, and not the silk that had been forced into her mouth. Ben removed the blindfold, but Rey squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to face the audience that had seen her cum too many times. It had been thrilling since she had _felt_ their eyes on her, feasting upon her orgasm as if it was their own. 

The release of the bar between her legs was nearly as sweet as her first orgasm, the one that had been forced from her body. Rey pulled her legs into her body, curling into Ben’s chest. She felt a blanket surround her, Ben picked her up, carrying her. She hid her face in the crook of his neck. 

Inhale. 

Exhale. 

“That’s all for today, people. You can look at the newsletter to see who is going to demonstrate the next subject.” 

Rey knew when they reached backstage because he began to whisper into her ear again. She knew that he would feel guilty, especially for leaving her tied up for longer than they normally would have done at home. 

Home. The idea warmed her, and she finally opened her eyes. 

“There’s my babycakes,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses to her hair, his hands unwinding the rope that bound her wrists. The nickname caused her to snort, and burrow into his arms further. His large hand flung the rope to the side and covered the expanse of her torso, his thumb rubbing gentle strokes into her skin. 

“Want to hear a construction joke?”

Rey hummed, biting her lip from the smile. While normally, dominants trained submissives, she had trained her Dom, her Master. He knew exactly what to do to her, what made her gasp and moan, what made her laugh. They both knew that she hadn’t hit subspace, and he hadn’t achieved the intense concentration that he sought each time that they played alone.

“Yes, Master,” she murmured, smiling into the delicate skin of his neck. 

“I’m still working on it.” 

“That...was awful, sir.”

Ben laughed, his ministrations carrying on through their conversation. He leaned, reaching for their bag they had brought, full of soft clothing for her. Ben slipped her legs through the sweatpants and pulled them up to sit on her hips. An equally soft sweater was pulled over her head, and Rey easily pushed her arms through the holes. It was Ben’s sweater, with a large hole off to the center, one that was easily hidden on Rey’s smaller body, allowing her to claim it as her prize. They huddled together for a moment, knowing they had to vacate backstage, and that Phasma and her subs would take over soon. Rey wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Rey stood, smiling gently at her Master, still seated on the floor. She extended a hand and helped pull him to his feet, letting her eyes roam over his body. He would always dwarf her, and it made her feel safe and loved. 

Love. 

It wasn’t something they had discussed, but over the eight months they had been committed to each other, Rey _knew_ they both had been close to saying those three words. _I love you._ Her teeth caught her lip, worrying it until it was raw, which was easy, considering the hour that they had spent stretched around the ball gag. 

Ben grabbed their materials, stuffing them into the second duffle bag they had brought with them, and offered her his hand. Rey nearly wiggled with excitement to leave.

“Rey,” he said, motioning to his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Yes, sir,” she breathed, taking it without hesitation. “But can we go to a bakery on the way home? I’d like something sweet.”

Ben grinned, turning her quickly to press against her chest. She knew her answer by the way he claimed her lips, his hand wrapped around her neck, pulling every part towards her. 

She’d get her something sweet, but it remained a mystery if it would be from him or not.


	2. Good at Gettin' By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the added tag in this one. There is a trigger warning for past sexual assault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please tread carefully if you have a tw: past sexual assault. I marked it by **** so it's after "...outside of the kink world." and it'll start again at "Ben looked at Rey sadly..."
> 
> A special thanks to Kelly and Daniella for the 4 rounds of intense editing. This wasn't fun to write, and I'm sure it wasn't fun to beta!

* * *

**Nine Months Ago**

* * *

  
“Our relationship is already at an unfair advantage. You know much more about me than I know about you.”

She wouldn’t let a total stranger into her life that easily, especially a man, and _especially_ a Dom. Ben Solo sighed, pursing his lips at her question. Rey knew he hadn’t said much in the group, and before they had a discussion about the purpose of their meeting, she would have to make him open up first. Even now, Rey noted that his body language was subdued. 

The man across from her leaned back into his chair, on the defense with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at her. The silence stretched between them was telling, only filled by the common noises of a loud coffee shop. The grinding whistle of an espresso machine and chatter from the patrons made her ears ring, and Rey hoped that she wouldn’t miss an answer if he started to talk. She knew he was debating whether or not to tell her. But she wouldn’t go into this relationship without knowing his past. No matter if he liked it or not, the past had a cruel way of influencing relationships, even outside of the kink world. 

********

“His name was Alfred Snoke,” he started after a few moments. “He...He was my advisor in college, at Harvard, starting when I was 17.” Ben glanced down, staring at his hands. “It lasted until I was 25. I had been so desperate for validation that I would take anything I could get, and he offered it willingly. I had been so eager,” he said, the last sentence coming off as a whisper that Rey barely heard over the shout from a barista calling a name out.

“Sorry,” he huffed. “This...This is the first time I’ve told someone outside of my therapist...Not even-” 

Ben cut himself off, shaking his head at himself, tearing at the napkin in his lap. The piece fluttered into his lap, having escaped his worrisome fingers. It seemed anxiety was something they both shared, and Rey could feel her chest tighten in sympathy. Her leg started to bounce under the table, her lips pressing together. She needed to support him. The feeling was familiar during the group meetings, but to address it outside of therapy was another matter entirely. 

_Breathe_ , she reminded herself. 

“He had me under his thumb about three months into my freshman year. I went to his office every day, and he made me turn in my grades to him for every quiz, every essay test.”

Her brows raised, silently judging his mentor. No mentor she ever had in college made her do that. Ben shifted, taking another sip of his latte, taking the time to find his words. 

“It was just praise until it wasn’t. He started being cruel, comparing me to others, shaming me, controlling who I talked to, controlling who I was...I was, I think, 23 when it started to turn physical. I had stayed at the university for my Masters degree. One night, Snoke drugged me at his house, and then,” Ben swallowed, pausing, looking out the window. She knew where he was going. Rey reached, and took his hand, squeezing, encouraging him to continue. She knew what he had to say would not be easy. She’d done it just a few years ago in front of her friends. It was never easy. 

The sinking feeling in her gut wouldn’t go away, not during this conversation. Her chest heaved with an unsteady breath, squeezing his hand tighter. If she could listen, just this once, she knew it would help both of them. But listening was hard when she knew exactly how he felt. 

“He...used me. But it felt so _good_ at the time. I didn’t,” he ran his free hand through his hair. “I didn’t tell anyone, because I didn’t want it, I didn’t want him, but the feeling of actually being _wanted_ was overwhelming. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I let him use me again and again,” Ben trailed off, looking away from Rey. “But I’m 32 now. The wounds have healed a bit, but it’s just...different.” 

****

Ben looked at Rey sadly, and she knew that he still struggled with his past. A quivering exhale passed her lips as she collected herself. They all struggled with what had happened to each of them, and it was what bound the group together. She said nothing, she didn’t have to. She felt as if they understood each other now, and Rey hoped that it would translate into their potential relationship. 

“I...I understand...But that was seven years ago. We all grow as people, and you aren’t that person anymore. You have grown as a person because it’s human nature to do so.”

He nodded again, pulling away from Rey’s grasp. Like an eagle, her eyes followed his stiff movements, as he brought the cooling latte up to his lips to drink from it. Rey noted that his mannerisms were careful, as if he were afraid to break everything around him.

_Ben Solo._ They shared a mutual friend, one Poe Dameron, who had brought them to a PTSD group, one for people with past abuse. It was also Poe that had brought Ben Solo directly to her, and asked her to show him the “ways” of her kink lifestyle. He knew that her sex life had helped her heal, and had mentioned that it might work for Ben. 

The man sat hunched over his own coffee as if he felt like he took up too much room in the small cafe they were in. A large latte (for a large man) with six sugars sat in front of him, his eyes staring directly at her, looking like she must have fifteen years ago, lost and alone. 

“So did Doctor Kalonia recommend you to the group?" Rey asked, stirring the straw in her drink, desperate to make him happier. He had just bared a small portion of his soul to her, it was the least she could do. “Because of this?”

She knew the answer already. The doctor had chosen everyone. It was her group. However, Poe sponsored the group as he worked on his own therapy license. She bit her lip and watched his eyes dart down to watch them. 

The attraction between them wouldn’t be an issue, it seemed. 

“Of course.” 

Ben leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. The small table between them became smaller, and Rey’s spine stiffened. He would not make her feel small. After being vulnerable, she knew he felt as if he needed to gain more power, but she wouldn’t allow it. Not yet. Rey sat back and crossed her arms, regaining the distance between them that he had taken. Her eyes drifted down, glancing at his hands, which were still toying with the napkin, rolling the paper into small balls, and then starting over again. 

She would never fit three of those fingers inside of her. 

“So. If you are interested in doing this,” she started, crossing her legs. “You’ll need to do your research first. Dominants and submissives are the same thing, two sides of the same coin if you will. There is a connection there that must be earned. It isn’t given. I will _not_ let you tie me up or control me until I absolutely know that I can trust you. You must respect me, as I must respect you.”

Rey reached, pulling her straw out and licking it clean. Rey watched his eyes flicker, and she grinned. Teasing him in the meantime would be _delicious_. She uncrossed her legs, leaning forward. Balancing the straw on her finger, she continued her explanation. 

“It’s all about balance. The sub must trust the Dom, and the Dom must trust the sub. Communication is key, because if either one gains too much power in the relationship,” Rey paused, using her left hand to push one side of the straw down, and it fell into her lap. “If the power dynamic is unbalanced, it will end up hurting both of us.”

Ben nodded, reaching to put her straw back into her drink. Rey reached and slapped at his hand, sending the straw to the floor. He snatched his hand back, looking startled. He would need to learn a lot, she decided, picking the straw up from the floor, and placing it on the table in front of them. 

“No,” she said, fixing him with a firm stare. “You don’t get to touch me until I say you can.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry...I understand. Will you want a contract written up for this relationship? I read-”

“Yes,” Rey replied, cutting him off. “There will be things that you will not control for me. You already know these things because of the group. And you must be willing to respect that. If you don’t, you will end up hurting me."

“First, you’ll need a lesson from me on the basics, and then I want you to do your own homework...The next step, you will have to prove to me why I should submit to you. I don’t care how academic you plan to be, but it needs to be thorough. Thirdly, you are going to watch a scene with me at the local dungeon, and no, this isn’t optional,” she quickly added, noting his body shifting in his seat. “And only then, can I even slightly begin to trust you. There will need to be a lot of communication, otherwise, this won’t work. Okay?”

Ben nodded, lifting his coffee cup up to his lips, taking another sip. He seemed to ponder her words, a bit too slowly at Rey’s expense.

“When do we get started?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was extremely emotional and heavy for me to write. But, up next, smut. 
> 
> Please consider leaving a review <3 it would help me lift my spirits up after that. I'm going to sleep now lol.
> 
> Follow me on twitter [starcrossreylo](https://twitter.com/starcrossreylo) and on tumblr at [starcrossreylo](https://starcrossreylo.tumblr.com/). The moodboard I posted is also pinned at the top there, and I would really, really appreciate it.


	3. I Can't Stop Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for everyone who reviewed this chapter: Ara, Daniella, Kelly and Rae <3

* * *

**Nine Months Ago**

* * *

“Shibari?”

“Method of Japanese bondage,” Ben rattled off. “A known form of restraint, but often seen as an art form.”

“RACK?”

“Risk Aware Consensual Kink, also known as SSC, which means ‘Safe, Sane, and Consensual.’” 

“What is trans play?”

“It’s the state of being that happens when endorphins are released after an intense scene, similar to domspace or subspace.”

“Good,” Rey said, setting her flashcards to the side. 

They were seated on the floor of her living room, their knees nearly touching. Her old hardwood floors were hurting his ass, and he felt as if his legs were alive with static. He had taken the weekend to learn the terms that Rey had given him. It had been a while since he’d used flashcards, but he was an academic. He could do all 293 terms tasked to him. 

During the summer months, he only had to work four weekdays and had done some extra research specifically for the dungeon they were going to tonight. After four meetings over coffee with Rey, he’d gotten to know her, and her favorite place to go: The Dark Labyrinth. 

The cover fee was absurd, two thousand a head, but Rey assured him they wouldn’t have to pay anything. If it did come to that, she promised there was another one they could go to. The woman in front of him didn’t look like the type to be into this...lifestyle she was teaching him about, but he supposed that would be like judging a book by its cover. Pointless. 

_A sex club_ , he thought, trying to keep his blush down. What would happen if he got hard in the middle of the scene that they were doing? What if Rey wanted to get down in front of him and pull him out of his pants and-

 _No_. 

Ben’s heart seized in his chest. He couldn’t allow that to happen. He would think about bunnies, his mother, his father having sex with his mother, _something_. But the image of Rey and him intimately entwined…it wouldn’t leave his mind. To say he was excited for tonight was an understatement. Yet he knew he would have to quiet his excitement before it turned into an anxiety attack. 

“What do you want to do while we wait?” Rey said, hugging a knee to her chest. “Or do you have any questions…?”

Ben frowned, thinking for a moment. 

“Do you know the people we are going to watch tonight?”

“Yes.” 

“What will they be doing?”

Rey smiled, and the look in her eyes caused Ben’s stomach to flutter. He leaned forward, eager to hear the description that would fall from her lips. Their bodies leaned together as if she was about to tell him a secret in the midst of a crowded hallway. 

If he wanted to, he could easily kiss her. 

But he wasn’t allowed to touch her yet. 

“So, normally, they’ll start out like every couple about to have sex,” she said, placing a hand on his thigh. He felt his cheeks pinken, and then the blood rushed down to his cock. 

Bunnies. His mother. His mother _naked._

Nothing was working, especially as Rey leaned closer, her lips barely brushing against the shell of his ear. Her breaths were soft, like velvet against his skin. Her lips drifted to kiss his neck, her teeth leaving rows of pink marks in their wake. 

“Please stop,” he whispered, his hands contradicting him. They found her waist, gripping her in his hands. 

Immediately, Rey pulled back, her own cheeks pink. She ran her hands down his arms to his hands, still clutching her waist. She removed them, holding his hands between hers. 

“I’m sorry, I lost control,” Rey whispered, glancing down at their hands. “...We need to set a safe word system.”

Safewords.

He knew about these, first learning them from terrible fictional movies, then in the notecards Rey had made him study. He hadn’t understood the importance of them, nor understood the concept of potentially losing control. 

“What about just red,” Ben asked, his hand still in hers. “It’s simple, but-”

“It’s fine,” she interrupted, squeezing his fingers. “Mine is pumpernickel...My old Domme said that I was the only one she knew that would moan about bread when she was making me orgasm.”

His stomach tightened, as did the world around him. Tingles raced up his neck, and Ben knew that his ears were red. Thanking his hairstylist, he swallowed. Jealousy was never a good trait on Ben. It was like a rushing river, undermining and carving into the rock that was his self-confidence, his _self-worth_. He had spent so long craving attention from Snoke, from his parents, that he was a selfish lover, scarred by his past, by his inability to share. 

Was she only doing this because she felt pity for him? Because she knew that the kink lifestyle might help him? Did she even find him attractive? Was she just doing this as a favor from Poe?

Rey was oblivious to his dark thoughts. A smile graced her lips, leading him from the edge. She moved closer as if she had a secret she wanted to share with him, playing with his fingers. They sat in silence, her index finger tracing the lines along his palm. Rey had just opened up a bit more about her past, allowing him small glimpses into her life before they met. He didn’t need to be so negative. 

“Why did you agree to this,” he blurted, unable to stay silent for long. Monsters were on the edge of his tongue, and one had just escaped. 

It didn’t take a facial expression expert to know that Rey was taken aback by his question. Her hand tightened on his, and she stared at him, her hazel eyes analyzing his face. Ben slumped. He didn’t need anyone else’s judgment. 

“You need this just as much as I do,” she said. “I know it. You don’t yet, because you haven’t experienced it yet, but you need this.”

“What makes you say that?”  
He wasn’t expecting the confidence that came next, the proof that her analysis of him was correct. 

“You’re scared,” she started, her thumb brushing along his knuckles. “You’re scared of commitment and of change, and this relationship makes you confront both of these things. When we confront our feelings, it’s hard, but it lets us grow. It’s a part of being human.”

He was reeling at her words. Was he that obvious? His back was stiff again, his shoulders squared as if he was trying to let her words deflect off of his chest. Ben started to pull away, prepared to get up and leave her apartment. He couldn’t...His breathing was harsher, labored, as if he had just run a mile. Rey’s grip stilled him, tightening like a vice. 

“Do...Do you want me to tell you what I’m afraid of? So it’s an even playing field,” Rey whispered. Her mouth gaped open, and then shut again, he knew that she was debating on telling him...on how she would tell him. She started to speak before Ben could answer. 

“I’m afraid of leaving too much in my dreams. Dreams that make my heart burst with happiness, and I’m scared that I will never achieve those things. And...And I don’t know if it’s love that we all want or if we need it. And it makes me scared, because what if no one needs me? Or _wants_ me? With my parents…”

His free hand found her chin, lifting it from where it had dipped in sorrow during her admission. She didn’t flinch or scold him as he touched her. Had their trust been built up enough that he was allowed to touch her now? 

“Rey,” he murmured. “Look at me.”

Her eyes found his, an ocean of tears in her eyes creating slow rivers down her cheeks. It was Ben’s turn to squeeze her hand, while his other erased the saltwater trails. 

“I want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review if you enjoyed it.
> 
> I lied about the smut. It got pushed to the next chapter whoops.
> 
> [Here is the moodboard for this chapter!](https://twitter.com/starcrossreylo/status/1219097723107979265?s=20)


	4. Cool Down the Pace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut? smut. 
> 
> shoutout to dot and daniella ily guys

* * *

**Nine Months Ago**

* * *

_ God, _ she wanted to bury her hands into his hair, and for him to bury his face between her legs. But most importantly, she wanted to make his toes curl. 

So, naturally, they were in line at the Dark Labyrinth. She was thankful that Klaud was working the door tonight, checking that everyone had their paperwork completed and fees paid before allowing them further into the building. The large man caught her eye, jerking his head before looking back down at the customers in front of him. 

Rey took Ben’s hand in hers, and pulled him through the door. The scent of body odor was a wave, and the noise of cracking whips, whispers, and the sultry jazz playing in the background hit her next, comforting her. The jazz was new, and she was impressed with how the trumpets seemed to echo the moans escaping some of the rooms. To her right, a woman was tied down to - she glanced down - a Sybian, and had clothespins adorning the pinched skin of her ribcage. Her cry when the clothespins were ripped off simultaneously sent a jolt down Rey’s spine. 

She wanted that. To feel the sharp sting of pain, knowing that it would meld into the burning pleasure that would start in her thighs, and then flow like molten lava into the rest of her. Rey exhaled, shifting her hips as she continued to drag Ben through the labyrinth of rooms. 

_ Room 23.  _

She had found it. 

Ben squeezed her hand, and she could feel the awkwardness radiating off of him. The doors to the room were closed, letting her know that they had already started the scene. She turned to the man behind her, whose cheeks and ears were already tinged pink just from walking past the one scene, one that she would consider tame. 

“I know both the Domme and the sub in this scene, and they agreed to do a mild scene for you...Are you ready?”

Ben blinked, focusing in on her. Her head tilted, watching him for any signs of discomfort. A nod quickly followed, and she nodded back, turning to open the sliding doors. 

Rose was standing there, towering in her heeled boots, the faux height adding to her small stature. She cut an imposing figure, the leather of the boots molding to her body as they rose to her thighs. The black contrasted against the red of her lingerie. Rey shifted again. She had gifted that lingerie to Rose, and knew that Rose had worn it for her tonight. 

Swallowing, she glanced at Armie, a tall, thin man, his ginger hair messy, strapped to the Spanish horse, his ass in the air. Rose had already spanked him, and thin red lines striped his pale skin. Rey glanced up at Ben, noting his lack of expression. She hummed, and stepped in front of him, letting him press against her back. 

Nothing hard there yet. 

“Hanging in there,” she asked, her voice a whisper, like the whip whistling to smack Armie on the ass again. The ginger let out a moan, stirring a shift from the crowd. Rey felt something stir within her. She didn’t know if it was jealousy or... Rey didn’t know, but that had been a moan to specifically get the audience’s attention. To get her attention.

She glanced back at Ben, whose eyes hadn’t left the stage yet. Rey reached behind her, grabbing his forearms to wrap them around her waist. She needed support right now, for her Dom to claim her in front of Rose. It was clear to her that Rose was trying to test Ben, and Rey knew that Rose only had the best in mind for Rey. The woman might not have been Rey’s Domme anymore, but they were still friends. 

Ben’s embrace was so warm, so full, that his arms criss-crossed her belly before resting on her hips. His lips on her neck told her that he wasn’t quite watching the scene. 

“Do you wish that was you,” he whispered, toying with the hem of her shirt. “Do you wish it was you up there, tied down, having every pleasure wrung from your body? The leather caressing,  _ biting _ , into your skin?”

Rey let out a breath. He knew how to dirty talk. 

“Yes, sir,” she murmured, eyes glued to the stage. 

Rose pulled out a strap-on, the dildo bobbing, and quickly pulled it up her legs, fastening it. Ben rested his chin on her shoulder, eyes back on to the pair on the stage. Rey swallowed. Lube glistened in the light, highlighting the swell and curves of Armie’s ass. It was something she had seen before. 

His cry, as Rose penetrated him, was something that she had not heard before. Biting her lip, Rey couldn’t help but shift, dragging her own ass across Ben’s lap. She wasn’t surprised as to what greeted her. His erection was...large, to say the least. His hands tightened around her hips, his lips dipped to her ear. 

“Now you know how much I want you, little one.”

Oh, fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not the smut that you're looking for lol
> 
> that comes next chapter!!
> 
> (and I promise that rey and ben will both come too)
> 
> [ Please retweet the moodboard!](https://twitter.com/starcrossreylo/status/1221643127829803008?s=20)


	5. Go Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut has arrived!! Can be read alone.

* * *

Nine Months Ago

* * *

It was her back being slammed against her apartment door that made her realize that she was already breathless from Ben’s lips. Rey pulled away, guiding him to her neck. Closing her eyes, she let herself feel, let herself get swept away by the feeling of his hips rocking into her.

“Fuck,” he murmured, running his teeth over her collarbone. “Are you gonna let me stretch that pussy out?”

 _Holy shit_ , he knew how to talk dirty. 

“Yes, sir,” she said, adjusting her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair.

He was large enough that he had her pinned against her door, and she didn’t need to support herself. She let out a small whimper, feeling her thighs twitch around his waist. Using her grip on the back of his neck, she guided him back to her, capturing his bottom lip between her teeth, pulling slightly. She wanted to devour him. Rey could feel his lips stretch into a smile, their teeth clacking together as he captured her in another kiss. 

Her heart was beating in time with the grinding of his hips, making her body throb. Rey’s hand slipped between them, her fingers found the hem of his shirt and tugged. His skin was smooth. Heated tension was in their shared breath as they panted, both focusing on the sweet burn of denim on denim. He tasted like the beer he had earlier in the evening, and she could get drunk on it. Ben found her lips, again and again, consuming her, taking what he wanted. But he was giving her everything she wanted, too. 

Foreheads balanced together, they breathed as one, baring their souls. For a long moment, they held each other, and she gained the courage to bare her naked bodies to him. Ben pulled away, letting her weak legs slide down his so she could stand on her own. Rey felt like she had been squatting for hours, her legs unsteady under her. Her hand found his, and she led him to her bedroom. Her room was suddenly spinning, Ben having turned her to face him suddenly.

“Can you take my cock, sweetheart,” he asked, his hand cupping her face. His thumb at her lips, she nodded. “Do you want to show me?” 

She sank to her knees, dragging his unbuttoned jeans with her. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth, Rey leaned, her eager fingers exploring the elastic of his underwear.

“May I,” she whispered, her words muffled by his clothed cock between her lips. Her teeth ran along the ridge lightly, sending shivers up his spine. 

“Not yet.” 

Rey paused, watching as he reached for her nightstand, grabbing the black blindfold and the rope that lay prepared. They had talked about what to expect the day before and had decided to start it off easy. First, the blindfold. 

The silk was soft against her cheekbones, and she met his gaze before he tied it around her head. His warm eyes were questioning, but she gave a subtle nod, and tipped her head forward, allowing him to take away her sight. His fingers ran through her hair, pulling it out of the way to tie the knot securely around her head. As her eyes closed, she could feel her senses becoming heightened, the warmth of his body before her, the smell of sex and musk. She could hear his labored breathing, could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under her fingers. Carefully, she slipped her fingers under the elastic of his briefs. 

“May I?”

“Yes.”

As the fabric of his underwear fell to the floor, the back of his thighs found the mattress. She stood, pushing him back to the headboard, following him. Her eager hands explored the powerfully curved muscle of his thighs, the pads of her fingers wandering the dips and swells of his pelvis. Warm breaths against his cock sent tremors up his spine, and she could feel him shift on the bed, spreading his legs to allow her between them. 

If that was all it took, he was about to be in for a treat. 

Rey licked a stripe up his cock, using her tongue to follow the thick vein she found there, before pressing a sloppy kiss to his head. She took a moment, slipping the tip between her lips to explore him, his taste. His cock, just the tip, was deliciously large, and she felt him standing swollen hard and proud between his spread legs. She wished she could see her prize, to admire it before taking it fully into her mouth. Sliding her hands down his thighs, her fingers stroked his balls, massaging a moan from the man. Rey smirked, adjusting to hover above him, before opening her mouth wide, letting his cock rest on her tongue. 

“Fuck, you’re a slut,” he groaned. “Aren’t you?”

Rey nodded, closing her mouth around him once more. She reached, brushing her hair to the side. Ben rolled his hips up into her, causing Rey to gag. Pulling away with an obscene slurp, she moved to mouth the base of his cock, leaving wet, lingering kisses.

“I want to be on my knees every day for you,” she whispered. “Please, sir.” 

His hand found her hair, causing her to jump. She hadn’t heard him adjust, or felt the mattress shift beneath her knees. He pulled her hair, guiding her head back to the tip of his cock. It was warm and solid against her lips. Precum leaked on to them, and she licked it clean with a thorough exploration with her tongue.

“Enough. Sit up.”

A whimper, and one last lap at his tip, she obeyed, kneeling before him. She didn’t feel him, but her bra had most definitely been undone. Deft fingers slid her straps down her arms, and she hissed at the sudden cold that stiffened her nipples. Rey jumped as the same hands found her hips, forcing her to stand. Her heart echoed his, pounding in her chest as she tried to predict his movements. It’s why she loved being blindfolded. It was a game. Ben’s movements were silent, and it made the anticipation _delicious._ Her thong wasn’t any match for Ben Solo, and it shortly followed her bra.

Ben’s large hands gathered both her hands into his. He wrapped the worn, soft rope around her wrists. Rey worried her bottom lip, hoping that Ben would be okay after what was to come. They had discussed what was about to happen, and the rope had been optional. 

Her pussy clenched. He had taken it to the next level. That meant that he was enjoying what she was doing, that he was agreeing to take their relationship further. She was making him proud. 

Rey’s back stiffened, a small smile gracing her lips. _She was making him proud._

“Why are you smiling,” he asked, pulling her hips into his lap. Strong, thick fingers guided her bound wrists over his head. “You shouldn’t be smiling. You’ve done something wrong.” 

Rey froze. Terror ran up her spine, and she could feel herself sinking into doubt. 

The sting of his hand against her ass wasn’t what she was expecting. 

“You’re missing some handprints,” he said, his voice in her ear, hot breath sending shivers down her spine. Rey rocked forward, grinding against his cock that was sandwiched in between him. Her cunt lips parted, allowing him to slip between them, and she rubbed herself on him, moaning breathily when it caught her clit.

At the next slap, she let out a whine, letting her head rest in the crook of his neck. He shifted her, tilting her hips away from his cock, using his thighs to keep her legs spread open. Again and again, came the sharp sting of his slaps, each marking her skin, each teasing out a moan. She could only hold on, and be at his mercy. 

“You ready, baby,” he asked. “Ready to be wrapped around my cock?”

Fuck, where did he learn how to talk like that?

“Please, sir,” she whispered, squirming in his lap. She needed to be filled, to have his cock rub against her G-spot. Rey needed him to make her toes curl, her breasts ache with her impending orgasm. 

His hands were hot on her thighs as he lifted her up, spreading her further apart so air cooled her center. One of his massive hands abandoned her ass and slid down to grasp his cock, aligning it to her entrance. 

The whine she let out would’ve embarrassed her had she not wanted him. No, she didn’t want him, she _needed_ him, needed him to fuck into her, to claim every inch of her skin. Ben needed to mark her, to possess every inch of her. 

But, as she was pulled down onto his hard dick, she guessed that she could wait on the rest. 

To say she was bouncing on his cock was an understatement. Ben was fucking up into her, the sound of their skin slapping together, the squelching coming from her pussy was obscene. 

“Kiss me. Please, sir,” she begged, the words breathless, intertwining with the smell of sex in the air.

His lips molded to hers, his tongue running along the seam of her lips, and she could only taste him, his honeyed lips. His fingers found her hair, weaving into it, an anchor as they both spiraled into ecstasy. Bliss indeed curled her toes, caressing her calves, a third lover that cared for them both. The snap of his hips became more erratic, causing their lips to separate. Ben’s hands pulled her hair, tipping her head back. She wanted his lips on her neck, but they never came.

His breath hitched, and he stopped thrusting in and out of her. She fluttered around him, slowly grinding into his lap. They were both close, eager to join the other in their peak, their euphoria. Thick fingers rubbed her clit, setting her nerves on fire. 

“I’m going to cum inside you, you greedy slut. Do you want my cum?”

Rey nodded quickly, eager to please him. His cock throbbed, and she could feel it stiffen as he pumped her full of his cum, marking her as his own. Rey whimpered, tightening around him. Her pussy wept onto his fingers, and he gathered the mixture of fluids, spreading it to her clit. His fingers met no resistance as he stroked her. 

“You did so well for me,” he said, soothing her collarbone with his tongue. His teeth scraped against her skin. “But I need one more thing from you, okay? I need you to cum for me, but when I start counting down, okay?”  
A groan of frustration, and a whimper of agreement, and he began.

“Five,” he whispered, his fingers slowing on her clit. 

“Please lemme cum. Please, sir. _Please._ ”

“Ask me again, and we’ll start counting over. Four.”

“Fuck, Ben.”

“Three.”

A strained whine.

“Two.”

“ _Ben._ ”

“One.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here is the art by buriedbloom that goes along with it!!](https://twitter.com/starcrossreylo/status/1225916608540889088?s=20)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed it. I might have the second chapter up within the next few days. Please comment and leave kudos, because it does wonders for the writer's confidence. 
> 
> Follow me on twitter [starcrossreylo](https://twitter.com/starcrossreylo) and on tumblr at [starcrossreylo](https://starcrossreylo.tumblr.com/).


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